


Memory

by anoyo



Category: Gohou Drug
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-10
Updated: 2008-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-03 05:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoyo/pseuds/anoyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you can see the future, what part of your life becomes your choosing?  How Kakei met Saiga, and how Saiga never had a choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Day ten of my 25 Days of Christmas! This is the one that makes up for any prompt that was ever little or under a thousand. IT REALLY DOES. Also, I hope it makes up for the sort of fail that were your other two already-done prompts, Arashi. I really enjoyed it. I'm presuming it was set, I don't know, seven or eight years before the series. Something like that. (. . . you may need your dictionary, SORRY!) Beta'd by [Zanzou](http://zanzou-chan.livejournal.com) and [Wolfie](http://fuzzy-squish.livejournal.com). Written for [Arashi](http://efeitokaminari.livejournal.com), who requested Saiga/Kakei based on this quote: "If you wanna play it like a game / Well come on, come on let's play / Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending / Than have to forget you for one whole minute." Originally posted [here](http://anoyo.livejournal.com/131000.html).

** _fool me once, shame on you_ **

The future was a malleable thing, always changing, fluctuating. That which was the future, fact, truth, one minute didn't have to be so the next; events could change, understanding could change, and the future wasn't omniscient.

That was a strange sentiment, that the future didn't even know what would be the future. To a large degree, the future did know, because people were predictable, and did what was expected more often than they didn't. The funniest part about it, in Kakei's incredibly educated opinion, was that those who were able to know the future were often the least able to accurately see their own fates. Even if Kakei only saw the future in snatches, little glimpses of fact or truth, if he saw himself, he knew it was likely to change. Because, well, he knew it, didn't he? He could make a different choice, go a different route, and then the future had to change again to meet him. It was a powerful feeling, changing the future, even more so than knowing the future.

Sometimes, though, Kakei just didn't want to know. He rarely forced, or tried to force, a vision of his own future. Sometimes, not knowing was far superior to knowing. If he saw something he could think of no way to change, what then? He was stuck, knowing of his own impending doom. And that, the knowing, wasn't living.

Other times, Kakei just wanted to know out of spite, or anger, or desperation, or some other mind-consuming emotion. The times when not knowing was simply not acceptable. The times when his ability rarely manifested itself; precognition was not owned by Kakei, but rather owned him instead.

When Kumiko-chan told him, bluntly, one snowy afternoon, "I'm sorry, Kakei-kun, but I don't think this is going to work out. I need to date someone more like myself," and proceeded to tearfully run away -- _why was she teary? she hadn't just been dumped_ \-- Kakei decided he did want to see his own future, to hell with the consequences. If he was doomed to be alone and left only with jerking off forever because of his ability, his next goal in life would be to get rid of it.

He sat calmly, finding the place he went to when he wanted to find something, telling whatever being allowed him to See that if he didn't See this, he was going to curse it six ways from Sunday. Before he even fully had time to form the request in his mind, the request to view his soul mate, an image constituted itself before him.

It felt warm, comfortable, the image. Kakei's visions were often swathed in emotion, as though rather than visions, they were simply transitions into an entire other situation, be it his own or another's. This vision was the first he'd had, as far as his memory went, that had been this warm, this safe-feeling. It took him a moment to concentrate on the actual visuals of the image, reveling as he was in the feeling of it.

The image resolved, clearer than most, on a boy in an informal kimono swinging a katana skillfully against a blurred out opponent. There were only two living creatures in the vision, leaving no room to misinterpret whom it was that Kakei was being shown. He stared, watching the graceful movements of the sword and boy, watched as the opponent dove for a sudden opening, and sliced a line in the sleeve of the boy's kimono, throwing it off his shoulder to reveal the edge of an intricate, black tattoo. The boy who was his focus came back with a swing that sliced easily into his opponent's arm -- part of Kakei's brain told him that the opening that had allowed the boy's kimono to be sliced had been a trap, a lure -- drawing blood down the edge of the blade.

The boy spoke, a wide smile spreading across his face underneath eyes that burned, "Is that enough for you? You're done. Get out." His brutal words never affected the smile on his face, nor did the burning accusation in his eyes lessen for the pain they had inflicted with their gaze.

Sheathing his sword effortlessly, the boy turned and walked away, putting his sweating, bleeding, writhing opponent behind him as though the man had never existed, and held no sway. The boy walked away the victor, the more powerful man.

The boy was a boy.

Kakei's vision broke with his state of calm, his heart racing, pulse thudding in his ears. When he was able to speak, he realized he was panting, and he had only one thing to say, "Are you fucking mocking me?"

** _fool me twice, shame on me_ **

It was hard to believe, that he would fall in love with another boy, that another boy was his soul mate, his destined other. Kakei was forced to believe it, however, when upon a second try, he merely saw himself with the boy, doing something he was trying not to think about, but that revealed a great deal more of that intricate tattoo.

He'd been able to write off the first as something shown to him by coincidence, one of those random glimpses of the future, of people he didn't know, and of absolutely no consequence. Kakei had had several of those over the years, his favorite of which being a fifteen-minute vision of a woman reading Great Expectations in English. Seeing the future wasn't the flashy, glamour-ridden thing people made it out to be.

This future, however, had decided it wasn't okay with Kakei deciding it was a fluke, and instead gave him something almost inarguable. Kakei added the "almost" because he could See it, and thus he could also change it. He didn't know how he would meet this boy, nor did he know how they would wind up falling in love, but he did know that if he had his way, it wasn't going to happen.

The most obvious conclusion, and manner in which to change the future, was perhaps the strangest. It was the fact that had he not looked at his future, he wouldn't possibly have thought to go seek out this boy. They would have met naturally, accidentally, one way or another. By seeking him out, Kakei was changing something. Hopefully, changing enough.

Surprisingly, almost too surprisingly, Kakei had no difficulty in finding the boy. He had a back tattoo, and that insinuated the yakuza. He was good with a katana, which also led him to yakuza. The kicker was the fact that he spoke eloquently and could have decisive one-on-one fights: he was probably the son of an important yakuza family.

The city's worst kept secret was that most of the important yakuza sent their children to the same school as the city's highest officials chose for their own children, flaunting their status as equal to that of law-abiding citizens, and also assuring their children's future contacts.

Kaizou Academy was that school, located within a private twenty-acre ground and surrounded by a fifteen-foot-high fence, covered in vines. It was almost picturesquely ridiculous. Some only nominally stalker-like waiting gave Kakei the boy in question, as well as the boy in question's name.

The students filtered out of the school around 16:15, leaving mainly small groups, and chatting for the most part about an upcoming basketball match, the first of the season. The boy Kakei was waiting and watching for, who Kakei truly hoped was a student at this school, so he wasn't standing here in another high school's uniform looking like an idiot for no reason, passed through the gate alone at 16:21.

The boy stood upright, with good posture, though his slightly disheveled uniform gave Kakei the impression that his appearance was not something of great importance, but rather something secondary. Kakei couldn't argue with the logic of that, at least not in this boy's case: the sheer power he radiated assured that no matter how he looked, he would likely be both the center of attention and the unchallenged authority in any situation. He oozed self-assurance, and it pissed Kakei the hell off.

Just as he stepped away from the wall to begin following the boy, his plan being to accost him the first time he got alone, though he didn't know with what, neither physically nor verbally, another student yelled from within the school grounds, "Saiga-senpai!"

A smallish boy ran through the gate, waving a hand frantically as he called again, "Saiga-senpai!" and the boy Kakei had Seen turned around to greet him.

"Shinobu-kun," the boy -- _Saiga_ \-- said calmly, smiling pleasantly from underneath eyes that never did seem to turn down the heat, "what do you need?"

The boy called Shinobu put his hands to his knees for a moment, bending to catch his breath before he replied, "I wanted to thank you." Shinobu blushed slightly at this, but forced it out straight-faced.

As Kakei watched, Saiga simply nodded, continuing to smile at the obviously younger boy. "As a Senior, it's my duty to watch for bullying among the younger grades. What sort of example would I set if I didn't step in?"

"Oh!" the boy exclaimed, blushing more furiously. "I hadn't thought about it like that, Saiga-senpai." Shinobu bowed quickly. "Still, thank you."

"You're welcome," Saiga replied, inclining his head. "Now go back to your team practice, Shinobu-kun. They're likely waiting for you."

The boy straightened, grinning widely, like a child. "You're probably right. Thanks again!" He waved quickly as he turned and ran back to the school building, Saiga watching him go only for a moment.

Turning to leave again, Kakei briefly met Saiga's eyes, seeing in them the real version of the fire he had Seen during the fight. It was truly frightening, but yet somehow still assuring.

_As though no ill would ever come of them, at least to him._

As quickly as their eyes had met, they drifted, as Saiga continued in his turn to leave, beginning to walk, a brisk and yet unhurried pace, away from the school. Aware that he'd been seen, and registered, Kakei continued with his plan, and began tailing.

For all Kakei's incredible ability to see the future, he didn't necessarily have the best grasp on "common sense." Logically, why did he need it? Wouldn't the future tell him the outcome of his actions, and thus negate the need for him to be able to properly predict? Unfortunately, the answer to that question was not always, "Yes."

Today was definitely a "No" day. Honestly, Kakei should have expected that, as he was going against the future -- or so he believed -- rather pointedly with his actions. Why would the future know to respond, or how to respond?

A logical man would see the inherent flaw in Kakei's plan, from its inception: if Kakei was following the son of a yakuza, an important yakuza, and that very idea was how he'd been able to locate said son, why hadn't he seen the natural consequences this plan of action would eventually come to? First of all, the son of an important yakuza had likely been followed before, and thus Kakei chanced him being accustomed to it. If he was accustomed to it, he probably knew how to tell if he was being followed, and in addition to that, had probably noticed Kakei in front of his school in an out-of-place uniform. Kakei had already seen proof that Saiga knew how to fight, and was good at planning ahead, so if Saiga was aware that he was being followed, and was perhaps used to being followed, what were the chances that he wouldn't take advantage of that knowledge?

A logical man would have seen that; Kakei merely got the wind knocked out of him when, out of nowhere, Saiga turned, grabbed him by the collar, and shoved him into a conveniently-placed wall. Kakei, to be honest, hadn't even noticed they were alone on the street.

Even he had enough sense to realize, at that moment, that perhaps this hadn't been the best idea he'd ever had.

"So," Saiga said, knocking Kakei out of his reverie as he knocked his head back against the brick lightly, "is there a purpose to your following me, or were you just going to see how long it took before I figured it out?"

The smile Kakei had seen on Saiga's face during the fight and when dealing with the underclassman had vanished, leaving those burning eyes to consume the focus of his face. Something within Kakei continued to whisper, _Don't be afraid_, but Kakei was having significant issues listening to it at that exact moment.

Instead, he felt the confidence in him morph very quickly into fear, and then just as quickly into an ironic sort of hysteria. In fact, it made perfect sense to him when he merely burst out laughing in response to Saiga's violence.

It did not seem to make perfect sense to Saiga, however, and while his eyes continued to smolder, his mouth joined the cavalcade, curving down into the angriest pseudo-pout Kakei had ever seen. "Are you planning on letting me in on the joke?" the larger boy asked in a manner intended to be menacing, but to Kakei's potentially gone-by-the-wayside brain was even more humorous.

"I fall in love with you?" Kakei asked, ignoring the fact that his statement was both an answer and a non sequitur. "A violent hooligan?"

That swayed Saiga's grip. "What?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing.

Kakei continued to snicker, though he was beginning to be aware that he looked like a proper lunatic. That did not prevent him from cementing his standing as a lunatic with, "I Saw you. In my future. Somehow, I fall in love with you." _Maybe not now_, his brain added silently, though Kakei was disturbed to find it less heartening a sentiment than it had originally been.

To Kakei's utter surprise, Saiga released him and took a step back, eyebrows furrowing further as his frown deepened. "You see the future?" he asked.

Taking on a position of power, however faked it might be, Kakei crossed his arms and let an incredulous expression dominate his face. "I tell you that your future soul mate is a man, and an apparently crazy man at that, and you focus on the fact that I claim to see the future?"

Maybe fucking with the future wasn't such a bright idea, after all. This was Kakei's determined sentiment as Saiga continued to blindside him, answering bluntly, "Being as I'm gay, one of those is far less likely than the other. Hence, the focus." The bigger man finally dropped his scowl, trading it for a smirk. "You dodged my question."

"Indeed I did," Kakei answered, buying time for his brain to reboot. Perhaps simply out of spite, he finally said, "Let me see your left shoulder."

Saiga raised an eyebrow, but didn't argue. Apparently humoring the crazy teenager was today's keynote. As he undid the first two buttons on his shirt, jacket having already been undone, he revealed a slightly pinking wound, recent but healing. "Does this have a point?"

"You got that wound fighting someone with a katana, and you won. You used your opponent slicing your kimono as an ample distraction to defeat him." Kakei let out a breath. "There. Something I shouldn't know."

Slowly redoing his shirt, Saiga said, "No, you shouldn't, but that's the past, not the future. Prove that you can see the future." He smirked.

As though obliging, and hinting that this, perhaps, had been the predictable course all along, Kakei was granted a vision of the boy from before, Shinobu, not attending school the next day. He told this to Saiga, and then smiled. "To see if I'm right, meet me at the start of Rainbow Bridge's walkway at ten a.m. tomorrow."

"How would I know whether or not Shinobu-kun was in school before ten a.m.?" Saiga asked, choosing to question the logistics, rather than the farfetched nature of Kakei's claim, something Kakei was disturbed to be slowly finding normal. Comfortable. "I'm in a different class, so I can't really get that information, and if I meet you at ten, I'll be skipping the class that I'm supposed to be in." Saiga raised an eyebrow.

Here was where Kakei's annoying little ability could be pretty fun; he got to pretend to be wise and omniscient, and to give wonderfully cryptic responses. "Find out," he replied pleasantly, "and simply know that if you're late, it's your fault." While Saiga puzzled that over, Kakei turned and began walking off.

He really wasn't surprised when Saiga didn't follow him; for some reason, the other man's bizarre reactions -- or lack thereof -- were no longer discomfiting.

What they were instead, Kakei was not yet willing to admit.

_ **fool me thrice, perhaps it was meant to be** _

When Kakei was joined by Saiga at the walkway, he was amused to see the other man out of breath, having apparently jogged, or run, or something, the entire way there from school. Apparently, he had believed Kakei, or he was simply an impulsive guy.

Kakei was more apt to believe the former, as it both augmented his own self-worth and seemed more like Saiga. He checked his watch, the analog reading 09:56. That was good; it meant they had a little extra time.

"I'm here," Saiga said, wheezing, as Kakei pushed his jacket back down over his watch. "There'd better be a damn good reason, because it's a twelve kilometer run from here to Kaizou." Saiga checked his own watch quickly. "And I only left at five after nine."

Duly impressed, Kakei smiled charmingly down at the other man, that direction changing as Saiga apparently regained his breath and stood straight. "Nice work," he said, turning and beginning to walk. "Because of your wonderful effort, we have a little more time." He walked quickly, purposefully, ignoring the string of expletives Saiga let out as he had to take a hop skip to close the short lead Kakei had gotten.

After a minute of walking, Saiga appeared to have caught his breath, the relatively easy pace not hindering his recovery. "You know, for someone who apparently falls in love with me, you're kind of a dick," he said, glancing sideways at Kakei, who only smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry," Kakei said, continuing before Saiga could think he was truly apologizing, "What part of this did you think meant you didn't fall in love just the same?"

Saiga snorted. "The part where you haven't proven anything except that you can either tell someone's going to get sick, or you overheard Shinobu-kun saying he wasn't going to be in school today." His smirk lay under eyes no longer so dangerously heated.

Or, perhaps, they were as dangerously heated, but Kakei no longer felt that danger, only the heat.

"Either way," Saiga continued, "you haven't convinced me yet."

"Good," Kakei replied. "Your curiosity is, in this case, extremely helpful. If you hadn't shown up, I wouldn't have been able to do this." He pursed his lips. "Though then I could have blamed that on you, and not felt nearly as guilty."

Silence for a moment, and then, "You really aren't going to tell me what the hell I'm doing on Rainbow Bridge, over freezing water, just after a snowstorm," Saiga said, deadpanning what might have been a question.

"That ruins the fun," Kakei replied honestly. "And our destination is just ahead, so I suppose you'll have your answer any moment."

As the incline they had been ascending began to even out, the truth of Kakei's words was evident. What was also evident was the reason Kakei had drawn them out here, and why he believed that this would prove his ability to see the future. What was not evident was why Kakei cared that Saiga believed him, but as Kakei was avidly pretending this issue did not bother him, it is apparently an issue for another time.

Standing atop the railing of the bridge, near the center of the bridge's length, for a reason that did not matter, was Shinobu, the boy from Saiga's school. The one who had not come to class that day; the fact that Kakei had predicted.

Saiga managed, "What?" before he stopped in his tracks, staring at the boy standing on the railing, staring down into the water below the bridge.

Watching the boy, Kakei still knew when Saiga's stare turned to him, rather than the potential jumper. "It happens every day," Kakei said, as though that was a response. "Sometimes I See it, sometimes I don't." He turned to Saiga, smiling handsomely. "Rarely am I given precisely the manner to stop it." Through his smile, a smile that did not meet his eyes, Kakei finished, "All you have to do is walk up and call out to him. He'll come down."

There was no waiting, then. No pause, no moment to stop and consider; Saiga took off toward the railing at a run just fast enough to not risk his own neck on the slick walkway. Kakei watched as his vision played out, because for once Saiga had done the predictable thing. Perhaps Kakei could admit to himself that Saiga had always been doing the predictable thing, but that what was predictable for Saiga was completely foreign to him. Maybe their meeting was the future's idea of a joke; a future that could only occur because of an ability to see the future, and a contrary nature.

Kakei couldn't have done anything to save this boy; he'd Seen and realized that almost immediately. Just as immediately, he had Seen that the boy's respect and adoration for Saiga would allow Saiga to talk him down. He had Seen the reason why, but did it matter?

Moving to lean against the railing, though facing into the traffic, Kakei closed his eyes and let the cold air blow against his face. In the end, only results mattered, didn't they? How something happened, the route, could be a million different things and have only one finale. Sometimes, no matter how many changes you made to the course of a future, the future remained the same. And sometimes, that was okay.

Being responsible for all he looked and sometimes acted a hooligan, Saiga insisted that he walk Shinobu home, in order to make sure that he and his parents had the conversation they so desperately needed to have. The reason, though Saiga offered it as fact, not knowing that Kakei had known all along, still didn't matter. The reason never mattered; it was the outcome that determined.

"Sure, sure," Kakei said pleasantly, smiling at both Saiga and Shinobu, the latter of which was watching them with a mixture of adoration and terror, and Kakei knew the recipients for each; his logic stretched that far.

Today was a day for "No" though, just as yesterday had been; Saiga had one last surprise up his sleeve -- _one more surprise up his sleeve, simply part of a long line of pleasant surprises._

He grabbed Kakei's arm, seeming to know that this would catch Kakei's attention more than simple words. "Meet me at the café on Avenue Six and Crescent at noon," he said, voice calm. Kakei's mouth flopped open a little, wordlessly.

Staring at him for a moment before he realized he was doing so, Kakei lifted his jaw, finally managing, "Why?"

Saiga smirked, and the fire in his eyes was nothing like frightening. "You're my soul mate, right? You should at least tell me your name." He raised a hand before Kakei could contritely butt in. "Properly."

As he watched the bigger man walk away, Kakei decided he was about ready for a "Yes" day here sometime soon, but he really wouldn't mind if all "No" days made him feel this warm and comfortable. Saiga hadn't even said anything about similar interests.


End file.
